words fail

My friend has type one diabetes.  Several years ago, his body just stopped producing insulin.  Without insulin, he can’t effectively process blood sugar and things don’t work right.  As a result, he has a much greater risk of heart disease and lots of other life-threatening illnesses, not to mention the constant measuring and maintainance work required to keep the insulin-sugar balance on a short leash.

My body produces insulin in exactly the right quantities at exactly the right times, but I’m entirely oblivious to the whole process.

My friend has cystic fibrosis.  His lungs are prone to infection and every 6 weeks or so, he has to spend a couple of weeks in the hospital getting a “tune up” of IV antibiotics to clear out the gunk so he can breathe better.  On the other hand, he gets to enjoy a regular diet of high-calorie junk because his body doesn’t produce the enzymes to digest food effectively, so he never really gets enough calories.

My lungs burn when I run hard, and if I eat 8000 calories a day, I’ll eventually weigh 8000 pounds.

My friend has to take medication to keep her mental chemistry in balance, but it’s like a constant experiment to find the right cocktail of medicines to stay within the “normal” range and minimize side effects.  She has a hard time figuring out whether the way she feels is real or the result of the medication.

I’m moody and generally confused about life and related topics.

My friend with a ticking biological clock is a single, bright, attractive, intelligent, successful, independent, spiritually-gifted woman who longs deeply to be married and have children.  Single men are too thick, cowardly, and self-centered to realize they’re thick, cowardly, and self-centered.

I’m not a single man, so none of those things apply to me, right?  I’m married to the most amazing woman and have the gift of 10 happy, healthy, beautiful children who daily consume every spare drop of energy I can muster.

It’s absurd, isn’t it?  Somebody should slap me for comparing my silly and petty and trite and dramatic ailments to these others.

Words fail to give adequate exclamation to the things I take for granted.

Nonethewhatsoevermore (yes, I made that up), these friends care about me and worry about me and ask how I’m doing.  They live full lives with hard work, high hopes, strong faith, loving and serving their families and others.  They represent a small sample of the evidence of the right stuff being resident among us.

I get sad because I’m sick and tired of being sick and tried, and life is hard.  Our dryer doesn’t work unless you lift the top off and give the tub a strong push to the right within a few seconds of hitting the start button.  Our finances are ugly.  Our house needs work.  We have great health, dental, vision and life insurance, but we’re generally healthy.

Then, Jesus has to go and say things like, “take no thought for what you will eat, or what you will drink, or what you will wear, for your heavenly father knows you have need of all these things.”

So, what about my dirty carpet, or the leaves laying all over my lawn, or the kitchen cabinets, and the broken sprinklers, and the car leaking transmission fluid, and the election, and the dryer – the stinking dryer, for crying out loud?  Can I – should I – take thought for those?

Sheesh!  I’m the dumbest.  Words fail to adequately exclaim my royal dumbness.

Thank God for good friends who will come to my aid.

7 thoughts on “words fail”

  1. Recently, I have been feeling a little frustrated about how busy life is and how I never have a moment to myself. I get depressed and crabby and generally mad at the whole world when I am pushed and pulled in so many directions. I seem to take many things for granted. Last night after supper, God was pressing on my heart. I don’t know why. I started thinking about the economy and how many people are having a very difficult time right now. I thought about the great supper that I had just fed my family and about the unlucky people who don’t have enough to eat. So, I started praying and thanking God for being so good to me. My husband has a good job and I am in a long-term sub position. We have plenty of food, a roof over our heads, clothes on our back, money to pay the bills, and we are healthy. This morning I rose as usual at 5:00 am, stepped into the shower, and began to pray again. This time I thanked Him for a good night’s sleep in a comfortable bed, a new day dawning full of promise, and hot water for my shower. I have also been blessed with a husband who goes to work every day without fail, children who are grateful, respectful, and hard-working, and a family who loves unconditionally. Even in the midst of our whining and complaining, He is ever present and never fails to meet our true needs. Thanks for reconfirming what I have been feeling and praying about.

  2. i also am married to the most amazing woman in the world! and my three kids are also happy, healthy, and beautiful. who would have thought that could be possible? we are lucky fools, dale. lucky fools!

  3. “take no thought for what you will eat, or what you will drink, or what you will wear, for your heavenly father knows you have need of all these things”

    That got me through so many days when things were out of control. It was a good reminder. Still is. That, and taking things one day at a time. He knows what I need, when I need it (doesn’t mean I didn’t fret a bit–ok, a lot).

    Remember when our dryer was all wacky? Or I should say, dead. He knew. And He sent some angels our way…

  4. God’s provision abounds. Daily he tends to my needs. Sometimes I recognize his abundance and acknowledge him, but most days I am too selfish and caught up in the day to understand that he has my very life in his hands.

    “But seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you.”

  5. Dear Dale;
    Thank you for writing this. My son is Type One Diabetic since he was 8 years old. He is my hero. When I forget how to be thankful, I sit and watch him check his blood first thing upon waking in the morning with a needle and then doing a shot for breakfast with another needle. Realizing that by God’s loving grace and mercy my son stays with me in this earthly plane each day via this small vial of fluid called insulin. My son is patient, kind and loving. He thanks God each day for his healing with the kind of faith that only the young have. Keep him in your prayers as he transisitons from youth to manhood. I am now beginning to see glimpses of the man he will become and it’s amazing. Praise God.

    P.S. You should write a book! Russ and I love reading the story’s you write. Especially about your family. ;o) They are beautiful!!

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