It’s Tuesday. I’m more exhausted, and farther behind, but the weekend is closer, and I’m sure I’ll get everything caught up then, and it will all work out somehow (see monday).
So, I decided to celebrate by having a cup of coffee and checking my email. I was pleased to find my weekly message from Relevant, and even more excited to see the article was about coffee, and direct-trade coffee at that.
After reading the article and being slightly fascinated, I googled Tim Taylor at Coffee Ambassadors and found their site: http://www.coffeeambassadors.com/home. Intrigued further, and craving coffee, I happily clicked around the links on the pages until I found “Nate’s Page”.
My perusing was interrupted by a coworker who started a conversation about policy documents (aaaggghhh!), but then transitioned to the news, presented with red-face and teary-eyes, that her father-in-law was put on life-support yesterday and is not expected to survive this latest bout with multiple physical issues. She and her husband spent most of last night on the phone with her husband’s mother and his 10 siblings.
“Nate’s Page” presented a cute family picture of Nate (Tim Taylor’s brother), his wife, Lauren, and their newborn son, Jack. The links from that page beckoned me to a deeper story on Lauren’s blog and explained why Nate needed a page. He died just after Jack was born when his boat capsized on a freezing lake during a Thanksgiving-weekend fishing trip with a friend.
Now, my Tuesday procrastination-celebration day has been soaked in tears. (Read Lauren’s The Ripple Effect page to put an exclamation on that point.)
Back at the Coffee Ambassadors’ site, preparing to order coffee and planning to change my life to join Tim’s mission, I found another link titled Memorial Fund. I thought it must have been about Nate, but when I followed that link I discovered it was about Carlos and Edwin and Juana.
Carlos was the manager of the coffee plantation in Guatemela from which Tim gets the coffee he sells through Coffee Ambassadors. Carlos, and his 17-year-old son, Edwin, were killed last February by bandits while climbing the mountain back to the farm with supplies and payroll money. Carlos’ wife, Juana, was left with their eleven other children to raise.
Suddenly, Tuesday, is filled with concerns bigger than financial statements and procrastination. It’s filled with tears and stirred emotions and questions.
Now, I’m reminded of the video I watched with Renee last night of Steven Curtis Chapman’s family on Larry King last week discussing the recent death of their adopted 5-year-old daughter, Maria, after she was struck by a car driven by their son, Will, in their driveway.
I have a Will, too, and he’ll be driving in a few years. I have a 5-year-old girl, Ellie, too, and I adore her.
I’m reminded of Carla’s son, Zachary, and Hunter’s brother, Carson, and Laura’s husband, Jeff, and Gary’s son, Spencer, and Julia’s daughter, Meghan, and Angie’s father, Frank, and Trina’s grandfather, Grandpa G*******, and my own father, Papa, and countless others.
While I’ve typed this, many fathers, their children, mothers, wives and grandparents, have died. I’m not even aware of them. Somebody’s always dying.
Why? Is all this death really necessary? Death is the enemy, right? The power of death has been destroyed by the resurrection, right? Am I just misunderstanding some elusive concept of natural vs. spiritual death? Am I just misunderstanding death? I know everything can be redeemed by the grace of God. I know God can make stuff we call evil turn into what he calls good.
What can I do? I want to help widows and orphans. I want to fight. I want to hold somebody I love really close. I guess that’s the ripple effect and the redemption in process.
For now, I’m just ordering coffee, and leaving a comment, and making a donation, and day-dreaming Tuesday away.
(My coworker just came in to say through tears that her father-in-law is gone. She’s leaving for the day, maybe longer. Dear Jesus, help us, please.)